How powerful is trama, depression, and anxiety….
I have very few positive memories of myself in sports prior to 2015.
Losing regional final to Loch Raven
I remember missing a game winner against elkton.
A busted nose against HDG
Losing regional final to HDG
I remember never taking football seriously. Which pissed alot of people off.
I remember leaving baseball tryouts to go play pick up basketball.
I remember leaving Cecil because I didn’t want to work hard, and left to go play with friends at Harford.
That about sums up my memories from high school & College I feel like I really under achieved athletically. I have articles that I read from those years but it still doesn’t feel real.
The last few months I’ve been busy but not really present mentally. I do less workouts with the youth, I barely write. I don’t feel depressed or anxious but I can tell something is off. My confidence in myself was fading.
Tuesday I played competitive basketball for the first time in years. Up 1 with 30 seconds left my team wanted the ball in my hands to ice the game from the line, But I turned the ball over and we lost the lead. 11 seconds left we needed a bucket and without hesitation the team looked to me again. I droved and hit a runner over 3 defenders to the game for us as time expired.
My team never stopped believing in me, even after I almost cost us the game. How could 10 people some who barely knew me, trust & believe in me when I wasn’t even that sure of myself.
I realize l don’t need to remember the past to be me. Everyday is an opportunity to continue to show myself and others that regardless of circumstances I’M ME…. Respectfully but unapologetically Me