So many parents today have good intentions but are ruining sports for their kids. Which is hurting their personal relationship with their kids. I work with my son daily on improving athletically. It always starts with me wanting him to be great and sometimes ends with him upset and crying because I let my good intentions turn into frustration and flat out mean. Which leaves us both in bad moods, his mother pissed at me, me pissed at her for “babying him, and a wasted time with little to no progress.
We have to find a way to better communication with our kids…
What to say to them before to increase confidence?
What to say while they are in the moment?
How to make suggests that they will actually listen to?
What to say after the game or practice?
I try, TRY to not bring up the game or practice in the car ride home. I want them to be able to deal with whatever their emotions they have about it and work through them on their own. If they do engage me about the event I do my best to remain positive and ask them questions to inspire thought.
-What did you do well?
-What did you learn?
-Did you give it your best effort?
What can you do about it moving forward?
Our brains are wired to be way too critical and negative of ourselves, we spend the majority of our time focused on painful moments. As parents its our jobs to get our kids to be aware of the negative, but focus on the good. If they constantly are beaten themselves down their confidence in themselves will suffer. We all strikeout, throw an interception, or miss a lay up. But we also have the ability to hit a home run, throw a TD or hit the game winner. If you don’t honestly believe that, you’re less likely to achieve it. Teach them to focus on a plan to give them the mindset to envision growth and positive results.
Instead of complaining about work to them, tell them what you enjoyed about your work day. Preach positivity, no matter what your job is. Especially if you have a job where you get to help others, even if its just handing them the food in a drive through, be proud of what you do. Who knows you might be handing a burger to a doctor who doesn’t have time to make dinner, because he is on his way to a life saving transplant surgery. EVERYONE MATTERS.
At the end of it all and most important remember they are kids and every moment should be as enjoyable as possible because tomorrow most likely wi come and each tomorrow brings them closer to being an adult, and that shit sucks.